When I grow up I wanna be...

What do I wanna be when I grow up?

Life long question...

Has anyone answered it? I mean there are so many things throughout our lives that change: our values, our priorities, our interests, our taste buds...even the texture of our hair changes 7 times in a life time!!! (Still waiting for that full, thick, silky texture like those hair commercials *cross fingers*)It seems that nothing remains the same over time...

...oh, but I have found one constant. It came to me on a Sunday afternoon, after I spent the weekend at a sisterhood retreat. I had a revelation that weekend... I needed to find my purpose. I went on Barnes&Noble.com and searched for the "how full is your bucket" and I stumbled across Gallup's StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Strengths Based Leadership... $50 later...shhhh don't tell mom, and 4 books later I find myself checking the mailbox everyday for the book arrivals.

Finally, Spring Break, relax, kick back, and assess my strengths.

Now, I haven't found out anything I didn't already know, but finally I have been able to put in words my natural strengths...One core question that everyone who takes this assessment has is, "so, what now? who do I become? what should my career be?"

Well, that's not the way I look at it. I see it as an opportunity to discover ways we can use our natural strengths in our daily lives, current jobs, and relationships in order to contribute our part to the situation.

These articulations of what I am naturally good at have sent me into a reflective spiral.

I have finally been able to make a list of my professional goals, personal goals, values, and what I want in a significant other.


Two years ago I would have told you I didn't want a husband or kids or the white picket fence, but as I grow older and I see my friends marrying off or seriously dating I take a step back and wonder....what good is all of this? how great can this life be, if you have no one to share it with?

Life changes, things happen, and we can't wonder what might have been different, we can't worry about tomorrow or five years from now. But what we can do is take a look at our strengths, take a look at what we can do now, focus, and be truly happy in those moments. Fate takes you where you need to go, as for now, I'm just along for the ride. I'll make a decision when I come to it (like grad school within the next few weeks)...

So it doesn't matter what you want to be when you grow up, as long as you never stop dreaming big and chasing those dreams.

Go do great things today.

HAVE REGRETS!

Something happened this weekend at work that brought back a little of my past. I'll admit in my younger years (when I wasn't so wise :-p) that I made a few mistakes. Mistakes that ultimately make people think of me in a certain way and because they haven't witnessed me everyday for the last four years or even for the majority of that time and they only know me in one setting they don't know how much I have grown, learned and changed.


If I was unable to look back on my life and think of something that I could have done better or perhaps made a better decision then I would be more upset because then I would know that I haven't grown or changed at all. See, having regrets has a bad connotation. A regret seems so final. There is no one in this world that can claim they have never done anything in their life that they wouldn't change. The thing is, it's okay to look back and say, "I would have changed that." I think that when people say, "have no regrets" what they mean is, "learn from each experience and be grateful you had it." You can say, "I would have changed that" but don't beat yourself up about it. It happened and it is what it is. It's okay to not be perfect, as long as you can look at yourself at the end of the day and know you are doing the best you can to be the best you can.

I wish I could have changed a few things in my past, maybe made different decisions. I don't regret it because it made me who I am.

SPANDEX

Okay, I'm really starting to get annoyed at this new fashion trend... the spandex leggings with just a shirt...what I mean is the spandex leggings are your stand along pants. First of all- that's GREAT if you have the body to do this, but it encourages those who don't have the body yet desire to be trendy to wear said outfit. While walking on campus the other day I noticed a girl stopped at a stop walk. The nice sunshine was beaming right at her- and guess what? see through! Her black leggings were see through.

Again, I get it- trendy, maybe? Comfortable? YES! but in public...no!

I am no fashionista but really people, no one cares to see through your spandex pants. Being able to see every outline of your body is not my preference but I am subject to it because we live in coastal sunny North Carolina. ... And please- no Uggs with this attire.

Mission Impossible

I have been slightly emotional and on edge lately due to certain events. I am also an emotional eater. First off, being an emotional eater is very disadvantaging! I mean, really, it's hard enough to say no to all the great food that comes your way but then slap on stress, anger or upset-ness (is that a word?) and hello, 10 pounds. I wanted nachos, from Moe's preferably. I drive to Moe's at approximately 9:15 PM, they are closed?! What time does Moe's close, one might ask? But one can never tell because the closing times are not posted...wtf?! It's okay- I'll try Islands. So I drive across town to Islands and I stand in line, ask for Nachos- and then what happens? They are out of queso (the whole reason I like the nachos) ...ughhhhh Seriously? I think God was trying to send a message. So I drove around hopelessly - and I won't lie I was pretty angry and distraught. Not at the fact that I couldn't have nachos but at the fact that nothing could go right that week. I drive up to El Cerro- closing in 10 minutes. I can't do that. I can't go into a place the last hour before they close and order food...why? Because I serve tables and often close the restaurant. It really SUCKS when people come in last minute and prohibit the cleaning process.

I go home, disheveled, angry, and hungry. I would just not eat, to prove a point. To show them but I don't think I should punish myself because of my unfortunate bad luck.

I go home, make a lean cuisine and sulk in my not-so-tasty dinner.

Thursday- not hungry- but I decide to try again for nachos- alas my nachos. They aren't as good as I remember and the next day as I am running, I feel them sloshing in my stomach.

Point of the story: bad food tastes good for those hot 15 minutes you are eating them... after that- bad news bears, my amigos.

hmmph.

Calm Down

Today I went through the Taco Bell drive-thru. I pulled up to the speaker where the man in the white truck behind me rolled down his window and asked if I had been helped yet. I shook my head and he sped around me to the window. My order was taken and I pulled around to see the white truck at the window. He then sped off, the nice Taco Bell worker asked if he had been in front of me. I said no and explained what had happened. Both of us just kind of laughed.

What is wrong with some people?