Day three isn't over yet but since I have some time I thought I would write about what has happened today so far. Today again started off with a bang- woke up late, didn't feel like getting dressed so I didn't take a shower- I just put on a "cute" outfit (I thought it was anyways) and went to recruitment practice. But OOPS! I went to the wrong building and had to walk to another across campus in 100 degrees weather- that wasn't bad though- the recruitment director was running late ( I at least made it there before she did )...Recruitment stuff was awesome this morning- as well as interactive. When we separated into groups- I wasn't placed in one because I am the President- I just kind of took care of some stuff with the recruitment director that needed to be gone over.
When we broke for lunch one of my friends that I used to be really close with came over to me and asked what I was doing for lunch (I had planned on coming back to the apartment and running some errands). She told me she had packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but had pizza at home. I told her I'd take her by her apt to pick up the pizza if she wanted to come over and eat lumch with me (I had leftovers as well)...she insisted that I didn't have to take her by her apartment- but I did anyways- Good deed number one-
After we ate lunch- we went and got Cuppy's coffee (amazing, by the way!). We went back to recruitment practice after lunch and I had to mail something so I walked to the post office the next building over - 25 minutes later! the items were finally sent. I have been trying to work on my patience though- so I didn't get upset or anything.
The campus has this new thing where it has recycling things all over- and even little signs on the top that says "can this be recycled?" I went to go throw away my plastic cup- made it in the REGULAR trash can and then saw next to that a little blue box with the recycling sign- yes, I stuck my hand in there, pulled out my plastic cup and recycled it. While I was in there I spotted another recycleable item- so I grabbed that and through it in there as well. Good deed number two-
I stopped at the bank on the way home and deposited the 868.00$ for the couch I had charged on my charge card for the sorority. I came back to see that that charge was STILL posted on my account- returned HomeReserve.com's phone call (Sandy) and found out that I had to do a series of phone calls to fix this issue with my order and that my order had not gone through. Two hours and one new best friend later, I have finally worked out my charges with Home Reserve and Bank of America.
HomeReserve was extrememly helpful, nice, and for an online vendor gave me better customer service than a store that I could have walked into. Thanks, HomeReserve!
Laura came over after recruitment practice and we hung out for a little bit- and that was fun. I'll probably spend a few more hours on my email befor the day is over- but at least the day is almost over- I think I can go to bed at 8? or can I?
Day three- almost complete- and totally positive.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
"A Little Imperfection Gives It Character"
Today marks the first day of recruitment practice. (I was going to go to bed early but now it is 11:30PM and I will get to that in just a minute!) Today's positive/good thing wasn't so much about what I did do but what I didn't do. Recruitment practice started at 9AM, I would have been on time- but I got a little carried away with packing gym clothes *which I never made it too* and trying to straighten my hair so I didn't look like a crazy woman on the first day back. I walked in- they must have just started. That's what I hate about being President- you have to be on time to everything and if you aren't you feel like everyone is JUDGING you...
I got over that really fast- I sat in the back of the room and was just taking in the presentation- which was well put together and thought out. Our recruitment director is really knowledgeable about what is going on and should be going on so she was efficient and informative. Today flew by- When we went back to campus- my shoes had been giving me a blister on the back of my heal so I took them off while I walked to the building we were in. The second my feet hit the pavement the bottom of my feet burned. Wow, blond much?
Here's where the day gets interesting- well to me anyways-
**Back ground** Our chapter's national headquarters has a fund for our housing. We are redecorating our suite, so we decide we want to buy a couch. Our National is slower than molasses when doing anything involving *helping.* We got word that our form had been accepted but that we would receive the check too late to get the couches in time for recruitment.
So, what do I do- (save the day, of course!) I volunteer my credit card- and just say "well, you guys can reimburse me tomorrow." First- my credit card wouldn't go through on the computer- it kept having an error- then it finally posted- no confirmation email of my order- no order number- nothing.
Then we get a response from the women we are dealing with at HQ's and she informs us that we cannot pay for the item and get reimbursed *even though we have sent in a form, pictures, prices, and two alternates for all of the items we asked for comparing all items*
The check would be cut out for the chapter (so we would just deposit the check and purchase the items anyways)...problem is this place for the couch is ONLINE (crazy how you can shop online these days?!) I decided to tell the truth the HQ, not lie, not fudge- just tell the truth- that I had placed an order and would it be okay to just front the money and get reimbursed.
This is sort of how the conversation went:
Me: "Hello, my name is Heidi ****, I am the president of ****, *** has been emailing you and I thought we could figure something out by talking instead of emailing. I am not understanding why I can't pay for the item and get reimbursed"
Angry HQ Lady: "Well, no other chapter has problems. This is strictly not a reimbursement fund! There are strict rules."
Me: "Okay, I understand, but then how do I pay for this item online that doesn't accept checks, just credit"
Angry HQ Lady: "Um, I don't know. Why don't you just cash the check and go shopping?"
...Silence from me....
"Okay, thanks!"
Okay- no receipt for the $868.00 purple couch, posted on my account, have to re-submit a new form for different items that equal up to about that much (my ingenious idea! < - that is what really saved the day)
I then had a recruitment meeting with panhellenic after recruitment practice with the chapter. While in the student union I decide I have to go to the bathroom. I walk in the bathroom- each stall is clogged for at least the first 6. Finally I find one that is usable- behind the toilets are seat covers- made out of extremely thin (I think flushable) paper. You pull the part in the middle that holds it together down and lay it on the seat- so I tried that baby out. It was pretty nifty- I thought about taking a few for proof but decided I didn't need them at my apartment.
Recruitment meeting was fine. I stay after and talked with the recruitment director and Greek advisor for a little while.
Later, I go to Old Navy with the room mates and I am calmly walking around being very positive and I stubbed my toe, took a minute and instead of yelling the obscenity I wanted to yell- I just whispered "ow."
Dinner with the room mates- I had mashed potatoes and apparently I was the last person in the restaurant to get these because they had ran out (my room mate also ordered a side) so I offered her mine and told her I could get something else- she didn't take them- but it was the thought that counts right? And the fact that I was completely serious and content with it.
We come back to the apartment and I encourage hanging these four canvas' that my mom painted for our dining area. *No one else wants to do it* I start to hang the canvas' and then both my room mates jump in and want to help...or direct at least. :-)
What should have taken 10 minutes took 30...- there are at least 45 new holes in the wall but the picture looks great, (a little crooked but imperfection is beauty) ...the apartment is now completely decorated- EVEN MY ROOM! which if you saw my room last year- NOT decorated.
There's just a little something in me that feels that much more complete.
Tomorrow- I have to clean my room, also run some errands, and recruitment practice from 9-5...I also have to start back up at the gym tomorrow.
It's gonna be a long week- and although I'll be exhausted because it's just the beginning- at least I am being a productive part of society- and keeping positive.
:-) Day two was awesome!
I got over that really fast- I sat in the back of the room and was just taking in the presentation- which was well put together and thought out. Our recruitment director is really knowledgeable about what is going on and should be going on so she was efficient and informative. Today flew by- When we went back to campus- my shoes had been giving me a blister on the back of my heal so I took them off while I walked to the building we were in. The second my feet hit the pavement the bottom of my feet burned. Wow, blond much?
Here's where the day gets interesting- well to me anyways-
**Back ground** Our chapter's national headquarters has a fund for our housing. We are redecorating our suite, so we decide we want to buy a couch. Our National is slower than molasses when doing anything involving *helping.* We got word that our form had been accepted but that we would receive the check too late to get the couches in time for recruitment.
So, what do I do- (save the day, of course!) I volunteer my credit card- and just say "well, you guys can reimburse me tomorrow." First- my credit card wouldn't go through on the computer- it kept having an error- then it finally posted- no confirmation email of my order- no order number- nothing.
Then we get a response from the women we are dealing with at HQ's and she informs us that we cannot pay for the item and get reimbursed *even though we have sent in a form, pictures, prices, and two alternates for all of the items we asked for comparing all items*
The check would be cut out for the chapter (so we would just deposit the check and purchase the items anyways)...problem is this place for the couch is ONLINE (crazy how you can shop online these days?!) I decided to tell the truth the HQ, not lie, not fudge- just tell the truth- that I had placed an order and would it be okay to just front the money and get reimbursed.
This is sort of how the conversation went:
Me: "Hello, my name is Heidi ****, I am the president of ****, *** has been emailing you and I thought we could figure something out by talking instead of emailing. I am not understanding why I can't pay for the item and get reimbursed"
Angry HQ Lady: "Well, no other chapter has problems. This is strictly not a reimbursement fund! There are strict rules."
Me: "Okay, I understand, but then how do I pay for this item online that doesn't accept checks, just credit"
Angry HQ Lady: "Um, I don't know. Why don't you just cash the check and go shopping?"
...Silence from me....
"Okay, thanks!"
Okay- no receipt for the $868.00 purple couch, posted on my account, have to re-submit a new form for different items that equal up to about that much (my ingenious idea! < - that is what really saved the day)
I then had a recruitment meeting with panhellenic after recruitment practice with the chapter. While in the student union I decide I have to go to the bathroom. I walk in the bathroom- each stall is clogged for at least the first 6. Finally I find one that is usable- behind the toilets are seat covers- made out of extremely thin (I think flushable) paper. You pull the part in the middle that holds it together down and lay it on the seat- so I tried that baby out. It was pretty nifty- I thought about taking a few for proof but decided I didn't need them at my apartment.
Recruitment meeting was fine. I stay after and talked with the recruitment director and Greek advisor for a little while.
Later, I go to Old Navy with the room mates and I am calmly walking around being very positive and I stubbed my toe, took a minute and instead of yelling the obscenity I wanted to yell- I just whispered "ow."
Dinner with the room mates- I had mashed potatoes and apparently I was the last person in the restaurant to get these because they had ran out (my room mate also ordered a side) so I offered her mine and told her I could get something else- she didn't take them- but it was the thought that counts right? And the fact that I was completely serious and content with it.
We come back to the apartment and I encourage hanging these four canvas' that my mom painted for our dining area. *No one else wants to do it* I start to hang the canvas' and then both my room mates jump in and want to help...or direct at least. :-)
What should have taken 10 minutes took 30...- there are at least 45 new holes in the wall but the picture looks great, (a little crooked but imperfection is beauty) ...the apartment is now completely decorated- EVEN MY ROOM! which if you saw my room last year- NOT decorated.
There's just a little something in me that feels that much more complete.
Tomorrow- I have to clean my room, also run some errands, and recruitment practice from 9-5...I also have to start back up at the gym tomorrow.
It's gonna be a long week- and although I'll be exhausted because it's just the beginning- at least I am being a productive part of society- and keeping positive.
:-) Day two was awesome!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Slow and Steady
Day 1:
Today is day one of my new life. I have decided that I will try to right the wrongs in my life so that maybe my luck will turn around. I will also do something everyday and be more positive in hopes to gain more positive energy.
Today was a slow day- I woke up in Greenville and I went to Andy's with a few of my friends. At about 6PM when I realized I hadn't followed through and did anything terribly nice I got worried. I had an officer meeting at 7PM, which of course I was rushed to get ready for because I was too busy telling my room mate about all the things that have happened to me in the last 10 days and catching up with her. I leave for campus at about 6:45 PM for my meeting and as I am on my way there I begin to mentally brainstorm what I could do for the day that would be nice. I settled for something thoughtful- I stopped at Harris Teeter and bought the officers freshly baked cookies out of the bakery-
However- I get heat flashes when I am about to be late somewhere- I am waiting in the self check out line, had forgotten my student ID *there goes that discount!* and was starting to sweat profusely and silently panicking staring at the clock on the wall. This is the thing about self- check out, it offers the wierdest things, repeats itself and then doesn't believe that you have all of your items in the bag. I have began throwing items on the counter so that it weighs in right- then it asks "are you sure that you have rang everything in?" I press "yes" and then it asks a series of other questions- like it doesn't believe me and then I usually have to have the employee stationed by the self-check out to come over and clear it for me....the employee usually hates their life and is bored beyond belief by this time the super long line in the register over has cleared out and the cashier usually stares.
Not today- I did start to sweat and freak out but I took a deep breath and let the man in front of me go through the 89 questions, be questioned about the items under his non-existent cart, and not accept his dollar bills. I power walked to my car and headed onto campus.
The meeting went really smoothly- everyone seemed to have their stuff together- and I was really excited to see everyone's new ideas for their positions.
Everyone liked the cookies too!
Day one is complete.
Tomorrow I have recruitment practice from 9AM-5PM- I better get to sleep!
Today is day one of my new life. I have decided that I will try to right the wrongs in my life so that maybe my luck will turn around. I will also do something everyday and be more positive in hopes to gain more positive energy.
Today was a slow day- I woke up in Greenville and I went to Andy's with a few of my friends. At about 6PM when I realized I hadn't followed through and did anything terribly nice I got worried. I had an officer meeting at 7PM, which of course I was rushed to get ready for because I was too busy telling my room mate about all the things that have happened to me in the last 10 days and catching up with her. I leave for campus at about 6:45 PM for my meeting and as I am on my way there I begin to mentally brainstorm what I could do for the day that would be nice. I settled for something thoughtful- I stopped at Harris Teeter and bought the officers freshly baked cookies out of the bakery-
However- I get heat flashes when I am about to be late somewhere- I am waiting in the self check out line, had forgotten my student ID *there goes that discount!* and was starting to sweat profusely and silently panicking staring at the clock on the wall. This is the thing about self- check out, it offers the wierdest things, repeats itself and then doesn't believe that you have all of your items in the bag. I have began throwing items on the counter so that it weighs in right- then it asks "are you sure that you have rang everything in?" I press "yes" and then it asks a series of other questions- like it doesn't believe me and then I usually have to have the employee stationed by the self-check out to come over and clear it for me....the employee usually hates their life and is bored beyond belief by this time the super long line in the register over has cleared out and the cashier usually stares.
Not today- I did start to sweat and freak out but I took a deep breath and let the man in front of me go through the 89 questions, be questioned about the items under his non-existent cart, and not accept his dollar bills. I power walked to my car and headed onto campus.
The meeting went really smoothly- everyone seemed to have their stuff together- and I was really excited to see everyone's new ideas for their positions.
Everyone liked the cookies too!
Day one is complete.
Tomorrow I have recruitment practice from 9AM-5PM- I better get to sleep!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Cheers to the beginning of the end...and beginning again.
Today I had been thinking that I hadn't blogged in awhile. So, even though I really need to hit the road for my Greenville get away I thought I would take about 10 minutes to record the craziest thing that has happened to me in awhile.
I guess I should begin with the first two crazy things. Well on the fourth of July weekend I ran into a man that I had gone on a date with ONCE. Nothing happened kids, just your typical dinner and then literally I tried to dash. He was so boring. He had no personality- nothing to offer, he was 28 years old and markets cement. CEMENT. I think it would be more interesting to talk to cement then him. Actually I've tried since and really- it is. So I run into him downtown after the bars close and casually I say "hello" and he starts yelling obscenities at me and calling all sorts of derogatory names. I had no idea why. I just ignored him, kind of laughed but then he kept going. So I walked closer to him and said, "maybe if you had a better personality I would call you back- thanks for proving to me that I was wrong." I will refer to him as "cement man."
I then walked away and started to get into my friends car, as a large woman which will remain race less ran into me and almost knocked me over. I said, "okay, really?" and then an expletive. She turned around and said "WHAT YOU SAY?" and she bounded toward me with a smile on her face and punched me in the eye. No major injuries- actually none at all which was wierd. No black eye- it didn't even hurt. Wierd, I know.
Then that next Thursday I ran into cement man in a bar as it was closing. He was with two attractive women that seemed about his age and he began yelling at me again. He was drunk of course, but he just kept yelling, so I walk up to him and I say, "You know, you are about to be 30 years old and you are in a bar at 2AM yelling obscenities at a significantly younger person than you, grow up." And I walked away, and yes, I really do talk like that.
So then- today I am working on paperwork for my sorority, in which I am the President of. I've been spending about 25-30 hours a week for the last two weeks getting things together, contacting people, and paperwork. I am getting things together for fall semester- and I get a text from a random number telling me that I had dialed one of my ex boyfriends last night and that it was his girlfriend. She told me I had called at 1:17AM. REALLY LADY?
So this is what I was doing last night- I am not even lying- Last night at about 5PM I went into work at Applebees, I was serving tables. I was busy all night- probably the only one that was busy but none-the-less I was picking up tables, taking parties, kickin ass and takin' names.(I wish I was kickin' ass- Applebee customers is a whole other blog) I had gotten screwed over because the floor chart changed and I had the worst section- yet the hostesses liked me so they just kept filling up my sections even though we weren't really busy. By 9:00PM my sales were 580$ with two parties still waiting to cash out which would put me at about 100$ in tips. (which is good for how slow we were and it was only 9PM!)
I was texting some girls in my sorority trying to work out some things for the semester- yes doing business while on the other job- and my phone died around 12:30ish. It's hard to tell because I was so busy that I didn't really have time to look at my phone. So I just dealt with it and kept going. The last table I picked up I found a 20$ bill underneath it while I was cleaning. I was really excited and thought that maybe my luck was beginning to turn around because the night before I had found 5$ in the trash at Applebees when I was throwing food away (and yes I kept both)...I figured if anyone was complaining about missing money at the end of the night I would tell them that I had found it- but nope- no one had so I got to keep it. 210$ later (in ONE SHIFT!) I was clockin' out and going home- after I had been screwed over- had mostly all of the tables in the restaurant and closed both BACK AND FRONT OF HOUSE...so you know what I did- I came home and jumped on my email to see what kind of responses I had gotten from the girls (in my sorority) and national- trying to get everything ready for recruitment and our national visit. I then went into bed and fell asleep around 3:30AM and woke up around 11AM.
I went down stairs, talked with my mom, around 12PM I had lunch, then I came upstairs and have been working on changes for the semester, paperwork, and emails for the last 3 hours- still in my PJ's. I get a random text.
"Hey... This is Anna Tim's girlfriend and I just wanted to tell you to leave him alone! This is enough seriously and then you call at one in the morning from a private number its ridiculous he tried to be polite and I tried to let him handle it but this has gone too far!"
Backgroud- so Tim and I have history- history being that for about five years we went back and forth trying to pretend like we were compatible- nope- not so much. I had one last attempt in the Spring...after that I sent him a LONG email explaining all my thoughts and actions over the last 5 years- he never responded. (He's now in a relationship (with -Anna-)) So, I thought- okay, what a jerk? I spent 5 years of my life (well really just segments) trying to make something work- or at least an idea work and he doesn't even have the decency to email me back...whatever.
This is where I may have made a mistake- around 2 months later I sent him a Happy Birthday- myspace message- no meaning intended- just to say Happy Birthday because I LOVE birthdays and you know- he was a part of my life for awhile- so I thought it was legit. Well I got a really mean response- in which I contemplated writing him back but then I said- you know- I really am done and I don't care. Although he's 24 years old he is emotionally and mentally setback when it comes to any type of relationship (romantic or not) about 10 years (that was a constant fight for us) and so I realized he wouldn't appreciate small friendly gestures like that.
After my good fortune last night- I figured things were turning around- then I get this text from the girlfriend. Which- I get it- she doesn't know me, I don't know her- but seriously I live in NC. I would never change my plans for a guy- so moving to Florida where this boy lives is out of the question (too hot there anyways!). There's no chance for Tim and I, so there is nothing to really protect? But, I get it, she is protecting her ground, but really am I threat? And secondly- how would you know I tried to block my number and it showed up anyways? I don't know, I don't really get it. All I know is that my phone was completely dead at the alleged time I called this boy and that he isn't even programmed into my phone.
Which brings me to my next question- is this part of T-Mobile's new features? You can now dial old numbers deleted out of your phone, while its dead? And my final question is, can I upgrade, call God and ask Him what I did in my life to deserve these crazy things?
So all of this has inspired me- I am going to blog on my journey to becoming a better person, physically, mentally, and with relationships(friendly and possibly romantic ?). For the next 100 days I will do something nice everyday and be more positive (which I usually go out of my way to do but now I will record it as physical evidence that I don't do bad things (intentionally, anyways)) and I will blog about what happens to me in my daily routine. And we will see if it really is possible to get a clean slate and attract positive energy.
The first course of action- which has been in the works for a long time- Don't talk to any ex boyfriends. The only one I have to work on is this one guy that no matter how many times I try to piss him off so he won't talk to me again he texts me a couple months later, bothers me, and then the cycle begins. I have to get myself together and nicely say, "Please leave me alone" But I can't be nice because he is SO DENSE, so that will be challenge number one. He is on roids though so I am sure I will reap some kind of havok.
Tonight- Greenville- Tomorrow the beginning of the end of my term as President- and the new school year- my senior year of college...
Cheers to new beginnings and letting things end peacefully!
Best,
Heidi
I guess I should begin with the first two crazy things. Well on the fourth of July weekend I ran into a man that I had gone on a date with ONCE. Nothing happened kids, just your typical dinner and then literally I tried to dash. He was so boring. He had no personality- nothing to offer, he was 28 years old and markets cement. CEMENT. I think it would be more interesting to talk to cement then him. Actually I've tried since and really- it is. So I run into him downtown after the bars close and casually I say "hello" and he starts yelling obscenities at me and calling all sorts of derogatory names. I had no idea why. I just ignored him, kind of laughed but then he kept going. So I walked closer to him and said, "maybe if you had a better personality I would call you back- thanks for proving to me that I was wrong." I will refer to him as "cement man."
I then walked away and started to get into my friends car, as a large woman which will remain race less ran into me and almost knocked me over. I said, "okay, really?" and then an expletive. She turned around and said "WHAT YOU SAY?" and she bounded toward me with a smile on her face and punched me in the eye. No major injuries- actually none at all which was wierd. No black eye- it didn't even hurt. Wierd, I know.
Then that next Thursday I ran into cement man in a bar as it was closing. He was with two attractive women that seemed about his age and he began yelling at me again. He was drunk of course, but he just kept yelling, so I walk up to him and I say, "You know, you are about to be 30 years old and you are in a bar at 2AM yelling obscenities at a significantly younger person than you, grow up." And I walked away, and yes, I really do talk like that.
So then- today I am working on paperwork for my sorority, in which I am the President of. I've been spending about 25-30 hours a week for the last two weeks getting things together, contacting people, and paperwork. I am getting things together for fall semester- and I get a text from a random number telling me that I had dialed one of my ex boyfriends last night and that it was his girlfriend. She told me I had called at 1:17AM. REALLY LADY?
So this is what I was doing last night- I am not even lying- Last night at about 5PM I went into work at Applebees, I was serving tables. I was busy all night- probably the only one that was busy but none-the-less I was picking up tables, taking parties, kickin ass and takin' names.(I wish I was kickin' ass- Applebee customers is a whole other blog) I had gotten screwed over because the floor chart changed and I had the worst section- yet the hostesses liked me so they just kept filling up my sections even though we weren't really busy. By 9:00PM my sales were 580$ with two parties still waiting to cash out which would put me at about 100$ in tips. (which is good for how slow we were and it was only 9PM!)
I was texting some girls in my sorority trying to work out some things for the semester- yes doing business while on the other job- and my phone died around 12:30ish. It's hard to tell because I was so busy that I didn't really have time to look at my phone. So I just dealt with it and kept going. The last table I picked up I found a 20$ bill underneath it while I was cleaning. I was really excited and thought that maybe my luck was beginning to turn around because the night before I had found 5$ in the trash at Applebees when I was throwing food away (and yes I kept both)...I figured if anyone was complaining about missing money at the end of the night I would tell them that I had found it- but nope- no one had so I got to keep it. 210$ later (in ONE SHIFT!) I was clockin' out and going home- after I had been screwed over- had mostly all of the tables in the restaurant and closed both BACK AND FRONT OF HOUSE...so you know what I did- I came home and jumped on my email to see what kind of responses I had gotten from the girls (in my sorority) and national- trying to get everything ready for recruitment and our national visit. I then went into bed and fell asleep around 3:30AM and woke up around 11AM.
I went down stairs, talked with my mom, around 12PM I had lunch, then I came upstairs and have been working on changes for the semester, paperwork, and emails for the last 3 hours- still in my PJ's. I get a random text.
"Hey... This is Anna Tim's girlfriend and I just wanted to tell you to leave him alone! This is enough seriously and then you call at one in the morning from a private number its ridiculous he tried to be polite and I tried to let him handle it but this has gone too far!"
Backgroud- so Tim and I have history- history being that for about five years we went back and forth trying to pretend like we were compatible- nope- not so much. I had one last attempt in the Spring...after that I sent him a LONG email explaining all my thoughts and actions over the last 5 years- he never responded. (He's now in a relationship (with -Anna-)) So, I thought- okay, what a jerk? I spent 5 years of my life (well really just segments) trying to make something work- or at least an idea work and he doesn't even have the decency to email me back...whatever.
This is where I may have made a mistake- around 2 months later I sent him a Happy Birthday- myspace message- no meaning intended- just to say Happy Birthday because I LOVE birthdays and you know- he was a part of my life for awhile- so I thought it was legit. Well I got a really mean response- in which I contemplated writing him back but then I said- you know- I really am done and I don't care. Although he's 24 years old he is emotionally and mentally setback when it comes to any type of relationship (romantic or not) about 10 years (that was a constant fight for us) and so I realized he wouldn't appreciate small friendly gestures like that.
After my good fortune last night- I figured things were turning around- then I get this text from the girlfriend. Which- I get it- she doesn't know me, I don't know her- but seriously I live in NC. I would never change my plans for a guy- so moving to Florida where this boy lives is out of the question (too hot there anyways!). There's no chance for Tim and I, so there is nothing to really protect? But, I get it, she is protecting her ground, but really am I threat? And secondly- how would you know I tried to block my number and it showed up anyways? I don't know, I don't really get it. All I know is that my phone was completely dead at the alleged time I called this boy and that he isn't even programmed into my phone.
Which brings me to my next question- is this part of T-Mobile's new features? You can now dial old numbers deleted out of your phone, while its dead? And my final question is, can I upgrade, call God and ask Him what I did in my life to deserve these crazy things?
So all of this has inspired me- I am going to blog on my journey to becoming a better person, physically, mentally, and with relationships(friendly and possibly romantic ?). For the next 100 days I will do something nice everyday and be more positive (which I usually go out of my way to do but now I will record it as physical evidence that I don't do bad things (intentionally, anyways)) and I will blog about what happens to me in my daily routine. And we will see if it really is possible to get a clean slate and attract positive energy.
The first course of action- which has been in the works for a long time- Don't talk to any ex boyfriends. The only one I have to work on is this one guy that no matter how many times I try to piss him off so he won't talk to me again he texts me a couple months later, bothers me, and then the cycle begins. I have to get myself together and nicely say, "Please leave me alone" But I can't be nice because he is SO DENSE, so that will be challenge number one. He is on roids though so I am sure I will reap some kind of havok.
Tonight- Greenville- Tomorrow the beginning of the end of my term as President- and the new school year- my senior year of college...
Cheers to new beginnings and letting things end peacefully!
Best,
Heidi
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Relationships- What's the big deal?
For the longest time I have been against serious romantic relationships at my age- 21. I have been against young marriages because I just think they tie you down and don't allow for individuals to explore the world. I don't understand why everyone is in a rush to find this significant other, get married, and "settle down." However, I have realized in the past few weeks that relationships don't necessarily mean death, it is only because of my friends and their perceptions of what a relationship should be that I have been completely negative about it.
Last year my room mate constantly had a boyfriend, two long term relationships. Ever since I have known her, as a matter of fact, she has had a boyfriend. She's the type where they get a boyfriend and they forget they have friends or lives away from their boyfriends. I guess it didn't help that she was addicted to marijuana and "getting messed up" and that's what her younger, less intelligent and unmotivated boyfriend was into as well. Which on a side note, I saw in the health clinic the other day that there is actually a syndrome for that called "amotivational" caused by weed...really? Either way, she exhibited everything I hated about young women getting in relationships. Pretty much all of my friends who had gotten into relationships had forgotten that they had a committment to keeping their friendships.
One day I realized that relationships didn't have to be that way. I was thinking about why it was so normal for some couples to spend all of their time together and not normal to me. It took me a few years to realize that I should look at my number one role model of a relationship- my parents. I realized that my mom had always had her own thing going on and in a sense made a life separate from my father (because he was away all the time) and made girl friends that she frequently did things with. She always hosted parties and went out with her friends, which I admired and always thought was a normal thing. When I came to college and suddenly saw all of my friends lives dissappear when they began relationships I looked down on them. I was saddened to think that people could be so fast to just give in to a boy and leave their friends behind.
The other day I was having a conversation with a girl who is 3 years younger than me and is married and another girl the same age who is in a relationship. The girl in the relationship asked me, "can you imagine being married right now?" I thought about it for a minute and realized how many of my friends were getting engaged, married, or in serious relationships. Afterall, I am a rising senior in college- a lot of people find their husbands and wives right about now. I simply answered her that I don't think I could be married but then again I have never dated anyone, looking back on it now, that I would have wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Obviously that is why I am still single. But I also defended the girl that was married - which I couldn't believe that I did because I have always been against young marriage.
I realized, "to each his/her own." What is right for me isn't right for her and vice versa. I realized I don't want to settle down right now because I still feel like I haven't experienced enough to limit myself to a relationship and that's how I view life. Some people are content getting married and staying in one town their entire life, some people want to find another person to share their experiences with... I just want to live. I want to go out with my friends, have a good time, and not worry about who is wondering what about me and have to answer to some one. I also don't want to feel like I have to spend time with someone if I don't want to. I'm not going to pretend like I don't get lonely or that sometimes I feel like I should be dating someone by now.
It's funny my friend who all of us thought would be married by now is now changing her tune. She jokes that she will never get married and so forth. She hasn't found anyone yet... which is okay but not traditional in her family. I think we all worry about not finding someone but why is it that we have this pressure to be with someone by the time we finish college. It's the society that pressures us, especially women to make a decision by the time we graduate college. I believe I will defy the odds and go ahead to graduate school ... then get a career ... and then maybe just maybe I'll find the right man to share my life with.
Last year my room mate constantly had a boyfriend, two long term relationships. Ever since I have known her, as a matter of fact, she has had a boyfriend. She's the type where they get a boyfriend and they forget they have friends or lives away from their boyfriends. I guess it didn't help that she was addicted to marijuana and "getting messed up" and that's what her younger, less intelligent and unmotivated boyfriend was into as well. Which on a side note, I saw in the health clinic the other day that there is actually a syndrome for that called "amotivational" caused by weed...really? Either way, she exhibited everything I hated about young women getting in relationships. Pretty much all of my friends who had gotten into relationships had forgotten that they had a committment to keeping their friendships.
One day I realized that relationships didn't have to be that way. I was thinking about why it was so normal for some couples to spend all of their time together and not normal to me. It took me a few years to realize that I should look at my number one role model of a relationship- my parents. I realized that my mom had always had her own thing going on and in a sense made a life separate from my father (because he was away all the time) and made girl friends that she frequently did things with. She always hosted parties and went out with her friends, which I admired and always thought was a normal thing. When I came to college and suddenly saw all of my friends lives dissappear when they began relationships I looked down on them. I was saddened to think that people could be so fast to just give in to a boy and leave their friends behind.
The other day I was having a conversation with a girl who is 3 years younger than me and is married and another girl the same age who is in a relationship. The girl in the relationship asked me, "can you imagine being married right now?" I thought about it for a minute and realized how many of my friends were getting engaged, married, or in serious relationships. Afterall, I am a rising senior in college- a lot of people find their husbands and wives right about now. I simply answered her that I don't think I could be married but then again I have never dated anyone, looking back on it now, that I would have wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Obviously that is why I am still single. But I also defended the girl that was married - which I couldn't believe that I did because I have always been against young marriage.
I realized, "to each his/her own." What is right for me isn't right for her and vice versa. I realized I don't want to settle down right now because I still feel like I haven't experienced enough to limit myself to a relationship and that's how I view life. Some people are content getting married and staying in one town their entire life, some people want to find another person to share their experiences with... I just want to live. I want to go out with my friends, have a good time, and not worry about who is wondering what about me and have to answer to some one. I also don't want to feel like I have to spend time with someone if I don't want to. I'm not going to pretend like I don't get lonely or that sometimes I feel like I should be dating someone by now.
It's funny my friend who all of us thought would be married by now is now changing her tune. She jokes that she will never get married and so forth. She hasn't found anyone yet... which is okay but not traditional in her family. I think we all worry about not finding someone but why is it that we have this pressure to be with someone by the time we finish college. It's the society that pressures us, especially women to make a decision by the time we graduate college. I believe I will defy the odds and go ahead to graduate school ... then get a career ... and then maybe just maybe I'll find the right man to share my life with.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Same Sex Marriage
In light of the recent Ms. California debacle I think it would be appropriate to explore the reasons in favor of same sex marriage and also against. The biggest problem that I have with not allowing same sex marriage is the fact that the government and traditional ideas in society are telling people who they can and cannot marry, which technically violates the foundational idea that the US was raised on.
My question to conservatives and the like is, "what does it bother us if there are two men or two women married?" I mean, come on, why does it matter to me personally? I am a 21 year old, college student, heterosexual female but what does someone else's marriage certificate have to do with me and how they spend their finances? The US government cannot stop homosexuals from dating or being together in public so why does it matter if they have a piece of paper that makes them share finances and debt?
Marriage to me is a lot more than just the certificate you receive. To me, it includes a friendship, romance, sexuality, and never walking away and those things can't have to be approved by the court. But in our fine country, we have to have a license to acknowledge these commitments while binding us financially to another being. I just don't understand why we would deprive any couple of the actual legal binding but have no other choice but to allow them the commitment of those untouchable ideas. We can't take love away from two people of the same sex, so why should we take their right to a piece of paper away?
Most couples who aren't married but have been together for lengths of five, ten, fifteen years consider themselves married and find it more of a benefit to not get married. I don't understand why the US government won't allow same sex marriage, is it because they want to say "hah, see we won't let you get married because it's not supposed to be that way" or is there another reason for it? Either way, it's ridiculous.
Some concerns that I have heard with same sex marriage is that it opens up the door to people being able to marry their dog or their cell phone. Although I don't doubt that someone in this country would try to do that and would gather a posse of about 50-100 people to fight for the idea of being able to marry their dog, I don't think that is a very intelligent argument. How stupid do politicians think that we, the people, are? Now, I won't deny - I can agree with the worst case scenario- there are those people that are just that idiotic but for the masses of people they either 1) won't hear about it because they don't watch the news or 2) ask, "why does it matter to me?" In our society today we are so selfish and if something doesn't directly affect us then we just kind of shrug it off.
For the people who would fight it and be angry about it, get a life. Let's get serious- there are bigger problems with our country other than same sex marriage. For instance the national debt to China - global warming - the war against terror and yet we still have people picketing against same sex marriage. In all honesty, I feel that there are more important things to take a look at and stand against, like our failing public education system, then same sex marriage.
Let people live their lives the way they want to as long as it doesn't harm someone else then it should be okay. If same sex PDA offends people we should then look at smoking in public bars, using swear words, dress codes, and morbidly obese people all of which I have known to offend people in some shape or form. Society will never be perfect, but we can start by focusing our attention on issues that affect bigger populations rather than scrutinizing homosexuals.
I realize there was no research done, it was all opinion but this is my gripe...post your own.
My question to conservatives and the like is, "what does it bother us if there are two men or two women married?" I mean, come on, why does it matter to me personally? I am a 21 year old, college student, heterosexual female but what does someone else's marriage certificate have to do with me and how they spend their finances? The US government cannot stop homosexuals from dating or being together in public so why does it matter if they have a piece of paper that makes them share finances and debt?
Marriage to me is a lot more than just the certificate you receive. To me, it includes a friendship, romance, sexuality, and never walking away and those things can't have to be approved by the court. But in our fine country, we have to have a license to acknowledge these commitments while binding us financially to another being. I just don't understand why we would deprive any couple of the actual legal binding but have no other choice but to allow them the commitment of those untouchable ideas. We can't take love away from two people of the same sex, so why should we take their right to a piece of paper away?
Most couples who aren't married but have been together for lengths of five, ten, fifteen years consider themselves married and find it more of a benefit to not get married. I don't understand why the US government won't allow same sex marriage, is it because they want to say "hah, see we won't let you get married because it's not supposed to be that way" or is there another reason for it? Either way, it's ridiculous.
Some concerns that I have heard with same sex marriage is that it opens up the door to people being able to marry their dog or their cell phone. Although I don't doubt that someone in this country would try to do that and would gather a posse of about 50-100 people to fight for the idea of being able to marry their dog, I don't think that is a very intelligent argument. How stupid do politicians think that we, the people, are? Now, I won't deny - I can agree with the worst case scenario- there are those people that are just that idiotic but for the masses of people they either 1) won't hear about it because they don't watch the news or 2) ask, "why does it matter to me?" In our society today we are so selfish and if something doesn't directly affect us then we just kind of shrug it off.
For the people who would fight it and be angry about it, get a life. Let's get serious- there are bigger problems with our country other than same sex marriage. For instance the national debt to China - global warming - the war against terror and yet we still have people picketing against same sex marriage. In all honesty, I feel that there are more important things to take a look at and stand against, like our failing public education system, then same sex marriage.
Let people live their lives the way they want to as long as it doesn't harm someone else then it should be okay. If same sex PDA offends people we should then look at smoking in public bars, using swear words, dress codes, and morbidly obese people all of which I have known to offend people in some shape or form. Society will never be perfect, but we can start by focusing our attention on issues that affect bigger populations rather than scrutinizing homosexuals.
I realize there was no research done, it was all opinion but this is my gripe...post your own.
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