Maldemonium

It is raining today. I felt the urge to get out of the apartment though and go shopping. Retail therapy if you will. Sometimes when things just aren't going very well everyone likes to go out and buy something new. It's like a fresh start, a new look, it's really energizing. Well me not being the intelligent person I normally am decided it's a good idea to go to the mall on Saturday when it is pouring rain down. First, I needed to get gas. So I stopped at the gas station right in front of the mall, the sketchy EXXON that has a service thing. I leaned over and grabbed my wallet, I opened the door and there is a man standing right at my door. I almost peed myself. He didn't have very many teeth and spoke with a heavy southern accent. Turns out it's a full service pump. WEIRD. He informs me that credit card and do-it-yourself is over at the other pumps, so I mosey on over there. I go to the mall, I walk in to door of a department store that the first thing I see are purses. I love purses.

I hear some high school cheerleading going on. 'Weird' I thought, so I ventured out of the store to the opening of the mall. They were just cheering, with no real purpose. It was strange. I continued on with my adventure for the day. I wish that I could have a sign on my forehead that says, "Dear sales associate, please don't greet me. Don't talk to me...just let me awkwardly walk around the store 8 times."

I ventured into Buckle which is typically a store that I avoid only because of my thought of the price. But I thought that today, I would just check it out. Not as expensive as I thought. Really cool stuff. I go in the dressing room. No mirror. No mirror? I thought to myself that this must be a joke. What kind of dressing room doesn't have a mirror?

What?

I didn't even know what to do at that point, I was flabbergasted if you will.

But anyways- too many people at the mall today. People just run into you and don't even say excuse you...nothing. wtf.

The other day there was a crawfish walking up by my apartment door. It looked like a miniature lobster. This confuses me. Why?..perhaps it's global warming.

By the way, I came home from the mall empty handed. No bueno.

Oh, my life.